Thursday, January 24, 2008

Strange Places to Have Sex

I was thinking of the weird places I have and want to have sex, and so I asked all my friends for their experiences. Not surprisingly, some of my friends are a little too shy to tell me that sort of info. I will post the responses of those who did share in a follow-up post, but first I want to share with you a talk I had with my friend Doug about the subject. Doug is a cool dude who loves the ladies...here is the conversation I had with him:

MidnightToker: Doug, let's just jump into it: Where is the strangest place you've ever had sex?

Doug: In the butt...sorry, I had to say it. I mean, I have had it in the butt...it's an oldie but a goody. OK, for real, let me see, there was this one chick who I met at the Renaissance Fair a few years back. She was one of the performers. She was wearing the traditional dress from the day and her cleavage could've suffocated a man. We made eyes and eventually ended up in the stable where they kept the jousting horses. We did it right there in the hay, and she kept yelling, "Fuck me Shakespeare, fuck me Shakespeare!" She was really into that Renaissance shit.

MidnightToker: Wow, that's amazing. Was there any trepidation getting naked in front of horses that are hung like, well, like they should be?

Doug: No, no, I'll tell you something, I'm not doing too shabby in that department myself. For a human.

MidnightToker: Any other strange places that you've had coitus?

Doug: Coitus? I believe you could beat up for talking like that? But if coitus means sex, then yeah, let me think...there was this other girl, when I was like 20, we met at an AA meeting. I wasn't really trying to get help, I was there for all the damaged girls.

MidnightToker: Whoa Doug, that is fucked up...

Doug: Get over it, Gandhi. To finish my story, this girl and I hit off at the meeting and ended up making plans to go to a party a mutual friend was throwing. During the party we adjourned to the bathroom and went at at, but that's not the weird part. Someone opened the door right in the middle of it and because of the way the bathroom was situated, we were exposed to about 90% of the guests.

MidnightToker: Wow, that must've been embarrassing. Did you stop and leave?

Doug: Hell no. I shut the door, finished up, then left.

MidnightToker: Doug, thanks for sharing your experiences. I believe we are all better off.

Look for a follow-up post with responses from my friends.

2 comments:

irayd8u said...

ok this has my attetention lol. Despite that i am female, yes I, a female, fantasize about unique places to have sex lol. Notgetting enough i think. Place i did have it was quite similar to doug, you little man-whore here lol. In barn up against the hay traler and also in someone's bathroom during a get together. Same person thought so maybe i get points for that. Really want to experience it in the back seat. I know veryones done that just not me lol. And how about the bathroom at strabucks lol Dont have a thing for brooms but there are always so big lol. Ok lets go one better, an eleveator- damn i really need tro get out more lol

Midnight Toker said...

Thanks for the comment. An elevator is my holy grail. It seems really exotic, and when done in the movies it always works out so well...but in this day and age, it would have be a place so deserted that if you push the fire button, or stop button, nobody would notice for, let's say, 10 minutes, otherwise I believe an elevator is just a great place to be CAUGHT having sex.