Tuesday, March 25, 2008

8.5 Feet Of Ukrainian Meat

While a photo of an 8-foot tall dude riding a bike with a normal size dude pushing him is pretty funny, we should really be concerned with why the Ukraine branded him with a scarlet "H", presumably standing for humongous.

Ukrainian veterinarian, Leonid Stadnik, 2.59 meter (8.5 feet) tall, the world's tallest living man according to the Guinness Book of Records, rides a bicycle specially made for him, in the village of Podoliantsy, Ukraine's northwestern Zhytomyr region, 212 kilometers (131.74 miles) west of the capital Kiev, Sunday, March 23, 2008. Stadnik's growth spurt started at age 14 after a brain operation apparently stimulated his pituitary gland. Stadnik, 37, is still growing up. (AP Photo/Efrem Lukatsky)

Conan the Chihuahua

Here is a picture of a dog praying with a Buddhist Priest.

Click here to read more about Conan the praying dog.

Another Peeing Aid

Here's another peeing ad for women. It is called My SweetPee.

You can purchase their reusable shield (blue) or disposable shield (pink). Now, with the reusable shield, you'll wanna make sure to get the citrus sanitizing cleanser.

Here's a little taste on how to use My SweetPee taken from mysweetpee.com:

You have a choice of two ways to STAND when using My SweetPee. You can either face the toilet or face away from the toilet. Both ways work well but our favorite is facing away from the toilet.
What is your favorite way of using My SweetPee? Facing the toilet or facing away from the toilet? I'll tell you one thing, the minute I get home, I'm going to try peeing facing away from the toilet...then I'm going to clean up the mess and watch a movie.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Jealousy And Crotch-Shots

My friend's band played this weekend at the South By Southwest Music Festival in Austin, Texas. I have a healthy amount of jealousy running through my head that his band played there and my band did not, so to commemorate the SXSW Music Festival, I present to you this retrospective on using crotch shots on album covers. Enjoy!

First off, the original. Sticky Fingers by The Rolling Stones:
I know you all want to know, so no, it is not Mick Jagger's crotch, or any of the other Stones.

In 1981, Motley Crue copied the design of Sticky Fingers on their record Too Fast For Love:

Since then, there have been a plethora of crotches on album covers...

Amorica by The Black Crows
Heavy Metal Hits Compilation

Fat Boy SlimUp at the Crack by Boned

The Commodores
Almost crotch shots...
Jennifer Lopez

Hot Boogie Chillun

Friday, March 7, 2008

Men Can Play "Defense" Too

Previously, I posted a photo of girls playing "defense" on the basketball court. To be fair, here is a photo from the NBA with some equally good "defense:

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Degenerate Famous People

Does who your favorite sports stars, music stars, or Hollywood stars are say anything about who you are?

  • My favorite boxer was Mike Tyson. Mike Tyson was convicted of rape in 1992 and served 3 years in prison. In 1997 he bit off part of Evander Holyfield's ear during a boxing match. Mike also bit the leg of Lennox Lewis during a pre-fight news conference in 2002.
  • My favorite baseball player growing up was Jose Canseco. admitted to being a steroid user and has ratted out numerous other other players for being users. He was Jose has accused of domestic violence by his first wife after he rammed his car into hers. He was also arrested after allegedly hitting his second wife.
  • My favorite musician growing up was Kurt Cobain of Nirvana. He was a heroin addict, and shot himself in the head.
I've come to the conclusion that liking these three degenerate celebrities says nothing about my personality.

Warning: Serious Death & Dying Post Ahead

In high school, we were required to take a health class. They taught us about our bodies and reproduction, CPR, and such, but they never really touched on how our parents will one day shrivel up and die right in front of us, how we are going to feel about, what our responsibilities might be, and how to go on with our lives. And for those of us who love and rely on our parents, losing them is a painful, ugly thing.

I certainly wish I could've taken a class on how to prepare for my parents’ deaths. I drifted through high school, college and real life, never thinking about my parents dying until my mother got cancer and died when she was 57. It was a shock, I was not ready then, and I'm still not over it.

Recently, I was out at my dad's and we were watching an episode of Law & Order. He paused it and said, "Son, I'm guessing you don't really want to talk about this, but I want you to know what to do and where all of my important papers are for when I die..." He went on to tell me some specifics about what to do, who to contact, etc, when he dies. He's not imminently dying, but he is 70 years old, so I guess it is good that he told me, but he was also right when he guessed I didn't want to talk about it.

I wish I had been more prepared. I'm not sure if a class in H.S. would've helped, but it would not have hurt.

My Surly Coworker Likes Bones

I got this email from my surly coworker yesterday:

Subject: You probably wonder why I carried this 1.5 miles down a frozen river through virgin snow....
Visions of beheaded dolls with bone bodies dancing in my head.
It's because I'm rad.

Do All Athletes Want To Win?

I was listening to a Twins spring training game on the radio, and the announcers were talking about a young player, and one of them said, "...he wants to win." And I thought to myself, of course he wants to win. Doesn't everyone in sports, in varying degrees, want to win?

One would think most athletes would like to win, but I recently found an interview from the late 70's of an up-and-coming ballplayer named Bobby Knowwood. Here is an excerpt:

Sporting News: Bobby, how is it being in the Major Leagues for the fist time?

Bobby: It's great. The lifestyle, the hotels, the private airplanes, it's all great.

SN: How bad do you want to win this year?

Bobby: To tell you the truth, I don't really get caught up in wins and losses. I'm not too worried about that. I just want to go out there and put up great numbers.

SN: So you don't care if your team wins?

Bobby: Nah, that's not really my call. In fact, losing has its privileges. We get the entire month of October off, while some players have to play in the Playoffs & World Series. Plus, during the season, there's so much less pressure when you lose.

SN: I'll be honest, that view is pretty unorthodox. Are you sure you're not putting me on?

Bobby: Oh, no. Not even a little bit. I come from a long line of Knowwood losers. My grandfather was a fighter pilot in WWII. He has the record for losing the most dogfights. He lost nine of them in a three year period, but miraculously, he was able to punch out and survive all nine encounters, or as I say, losses. My father lost at baseball his entire life; t-ball, little league, high school and college. And my mother loses her keys all the fricken time.
SN: I see. Well, Bobby, thanks for taking the time to talk to me today and good luck in the upcoming season.