Tech Support Took My Balls

There's a program at work I need to log into maybe once a week. Last week it forced me to change my password...and this week I forgot what it was. With no luck finding it written down somewhere, I wrote an email to Mat, one of those weaselly tech support guys who thinks he's better than anybody who owns just one computer.

Unfortunately, my balls decided to leave me before writing the email, and out spewed the following, spineless, self-deprecating email:

Mat,

When I changed my password last week, I had little foresight and did not save it in my browser, and stupidly did not write it down anywhere. Since I have so many passwords, my tiny brain couldn’t keep this one contained. I know, I’m a moron, and shouldn’t be allowed near a computer. I know you are very important, very busy, and have 10 computers going at once, but if you can spare a minute of your hectic day, could you send me my password? I am so sorry for causing this inconvenience.

OK, so it didn’t have those exact words, but it was close. If I still had my balls, I would’ve simply said this:

Mat ,
Could you please send me my password?
Thanks.

Or:

Mat – I need my password ASAP.

Or even:

Mat…drank too much this weekend…forgot my password.
Thanks bro!

Or:

Mat,
Wild weekend…lost my wallet at a donkey show in Mexico. My password was in there.