Monday, March 22, 2010

Interview With Heidi Montag's Former Manager/Psychic’s Web Site

Heidi Montag fired her manager/psychic last week. I decided to interview him to see if he could help me as my manager/psychic/ball wrangler. And since I have no way to actually interview this guy, I used information from his web site for all of his answers. (

Me: Mr. Chase, I know you were Heidi's manager/psychic for only 7 days, but were you able to impart any wisdom into Heidi's life in that short time?

Aiden Chase: I am Aiden Chase.

Me: And we’re off to a great start. Aiden, explain a little bit of what you’d do for me as my manager/psychic.

Mr. Chase: I am a healer and intuitive. I believe in light and love. My psychic gifts include clairvoyance, clairaudience, and clairsentience. Joining and participating with us on every healing are the angelic forces of light and love, healing and protection; ancient Native American spirit healers; your ancestors and passed-on family who choose to help guide us in your healing. In addition, I use many ancient world and inter-dimensional energy healing techniques and modalities including energetic calibration, powerful and sacred rocks, crystals, touch, sound, aroma and music.

Me: Wow. That sounds really lame. Is that what you wanted me to think?

Mr. Chase: Free yourself from negative life history and bring yourself closer to your soul's purpose and life intention.

Me: OK, Mr. Chase, I’m still a little stuck on what you do. What did you do with Heidi?

Mr. Chase: The process I use is called the laying-on of hands or spiritual healing. I am a channel for healing energy. Together we connect to the light healing force of love.

Me: So you had sex with her. Good work, now tell me about what you could do for me as my manager/psychic, because I do not want to have sex with you.

Mr Chase: Although this sounds mysterious or religious, it is neither. All humans have an energy field or aura that surrounds and interpenetrates the physical body…

Me: It sounds a little bit like you're going to try to f*ck me.

Mr. Chase: Ultimately, healing is connecting to yourself... your spirit's or soul's purpose. Remember, I look deep inside to reveal what the soul is asking for.

Me: I’m sorry Mr. Chase, now it sounds like you’re going to f*ck my soul. I have to go.

Mr. Chase with a crystal

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