Waffles in the Back Seat

I got into my sweetheart's car this last Saturday morning, and noticed a box of whole wheat frozen waffles in the back seat. I asked her to explain...
She explained that she brought the waffles to work Friday, and when she got home, she forgot them in the car. Fair enough, but then she explained her thinking to me:
"I'll just leave them in the car, so I'll have them for work on Monday, and if I want one this weekend, I'll just go down to the garage and get one."

She is awesome.

Super Bowl Nostalgia

In January 1988, Chubby Checker performed at halftime of Super Bowl XXII. And he apparently borrowed a blouse from Diana Ross.


Top Ten Super Bowl Halftime Shows (SI Vault)

My Nephew Does The Sprinkler

Earlier in the fall, my sister dropped by with my youngest nephews, and he demonstrated one of the dance techniques he's been working on...The Sprinkler.

I had a chance to catch up with my youngest nephew and ask him a few questions about his moves....

Midnight Toker: So, how did you learn to dance like that?

Youngest Nephew: Good question, and thanks for asking. When I was about 13 months old, I found an old record in the garage. It was a novelty album put out in the 80's by the WWF, the wrestling organization...or should I say WWE, since they were forced to change their name after a law suit, but I digress...The 1st song on the album is Land of a Thousand Dances, and it features all sorts of dances. I was curious about them, so I looked them up online. My whole life I had been looking for a purpose, and from the moment I researched all the different ways you can dance, I was hooked. I knew I'd be dancing the rest of my life.

Midnight Toker: Wow, that is quite a story, and an inspiring one. I hope other toddlers listen to what you have to say and let your words inspire them.

Youngest Nephew: I hope so too. If I can inspire just one little one to take up dancing, it'll all be worth while.

Midnight Toker: Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?

Youngest Nephew: No. Go ahead, shoot.

Midnight Toker: Now, please be honest, did you poop your diaper?

Youngest Nephew: Yeah, so what, I haven't even started potty training yet.

Midnight Toker: OK, good to see you, little guy...Where's your mommy?...

Pet Names

I enjoy using pet names for my lady. Like gal, babe, sweet-tits, etc, but it seems that for every gal who likes being called gal, there's a babe who hates being called gal, and would rather be called sweet-tits.

I think it would be very fascinating for someone to take a poll of some average sweethearts to see what nicknames they like and dislike...if I were not such a lazy man, I would be that someone, but here some of the nicknames I would ask those doll faces about:

How about lady? As in: Hey there lady, how was your day?
or babe? Hey babe, how was your day?
or baby? Hey baby, could you get me a beer?
or darling? Hey darling, could you get me another beer...with less lip this time!
or honey? Hey honey, do you know where my ball-gag is?
or sweetie? Hey sweetie, I think you dropped something, you better bend over to pick it up...

Wicked Sin

OK, so almost 2 years after my estranged wife left me...and my divorce papers are finally filed with the court and I will officially be divorced within 2 weeks! I'm very happy about this.

Now, on to other matters...For over a year now, I've been living in wicked sin with my new lady friend, let's call her Lady. So I am simply ecstatic that soon I will only be living in just regular sin. Lady is also very happy. When I talked to her earlier, she had this to say, "I am very happy." Very well put, Lady.

Here's a horrendous drawing of Lady & I grilling in the suburbs: