Maybe My Wife Accidentally Packed My Balls...

My wife left me on March 13. One day after our 2 year anniversary.

She called me up during band practice. I answered it because we were on break. She said, "We need to talk. I'm not coming home tonight."
I told her OK and went on with practice.
The next morning she came home and told me she wanted a divorce. The normal begging, pleading, etc didn't work, so she left with bags full of her stuff.

This made me think about my balls and how I must've lost them somewhere along the way.
It might have been when she cheated on me during our 2nd year of dating and I took her back. Or maybe when she left me during our 3rd year of dating, then I took her back. Or maybe even when she cheated on me in our 1st year of marriage and I took her back. My balls could be anywhere and I need to find them, and I will search high and low until I locate them and reattach them.