Search For Balls Takes a Setback

It's been almost two and a half months since my wife left me and the search for my balls has been moving along slow and steady, until now.

My wife called me up and wanted to get together, so we did. We had dinner and she told me all about her humanitarian trek in Nepal and I told her about all the beer I've been drinking and the search for my balls. I knew what was coming next, but I could not stop it. She needed a place to stay, I told her she could stay with me. Part of me wanted to get back together with her and part of me just wanted to have sex with her, so I told her she could stay in hopes that one of the 2 or maybe even both would happen. It's been 3 days and things have been civil and a little awkward. No sex, no reconciliation, no fights, no problems.

Here is a terrible drawing of us in bed:

Maybe My Wife Accidentally Packed My Balls...

My wife left me on March 13. One day after our 2 year anniversary.

She called me up during band practice. I answered it because we were on break. She said, "We need to talk. I'm not coming home tonight."
I told her OK and went on with practice.
The next morning she came home and told me she wanted a divorce. The normal begging, pleading, etc didn't work, so she left with bags full of her stuff.

This made me think about my balls and how I must've lost them somewhere along the way.
It might have been when she cheated on me during our 2nd year of dating and I took her back. Or maybe when she left me during our 3rd year of dating, then I took her back. Or maybe even when she cheated on me in our 1st year of marriage and I took her back. My balls could be anywhere and I need to find them, and I will search high and low until I locate them and reattach them.