Why Do Men Like to Ejaculate on Girl's Faces?

So why? Why are men wired to like facials? All I know is that we do like them, but why?

Here is an absolutely atrocious drawing of a girl wearing protective goggles:

______ Drove Me to Drink

Yes, my wife leaving me drove me to start drinking again, heavily. I don't blame her, well, yeah, I do, but I recently started treatment to stop abusing the ancient arts of puffing and chugging, and I'm doing it for myself this time. I went through rehab once before, but only because my wife told me she'd leave if I didn't. I did and she still left anyway, so that's the last time I make a huge life change for someone else.
It's been 8 days now and I'm still waiting to lose that beer weight, but I feel good and it's nice to go to bed at night knowing that I'll wake up in my bed, not in my car or on the balcony.