My Nephew Does The Sprinkler

Earlier in the fall, my sister dropped by with my youngest nephews, and he demonstrated one of the dance techniques he's been working on...The Sprinkler.

I had a chance to catch up with my youngest nephew and ask him a few questions about his moves....

Midnight Toker: So, how did you learn to dance like that?

Youngest Nephew: Good question, and thanks for asking. When I was about 13 months old, I found an old record in the garage. It was a novelty album put out in the 80's by the WWF, the wrestling organization...or should I say WWE, since they were forced to change their name after a law suit, but I digress...The 1st song on the album is Land of a Thousand Dances, and it features all sorts of dances. I was curious about them, so I looked them up online. My whole life I had been looking for a purpose, and from the moment I researched all the different ways you can dance, I was hooked. I knew I'd be dancing the rest of my life.

Midnight Toker: Wow, that is quite a story, and an inspiring one. I hope other toddlers listen to what you have to say and let your words inspire them.

Youngest Nephew: I hope so too. If I can inspire just one little one to take up dancing, it'll all be worth while.

Midnight Toker: Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?

Youngest Nephew: No. Go ahead, shoot.

Midnight Toker: Now, please be honest, did you poop your diaper?

Youngest Nephew: Yeah, so what, I haven't even started potty training yet.

Midnight Toker: OK, good to see you, little guy...Where's your mommy?...

Happy May Day!

Someone shit on my friend's garage door. Here's a photo of it.

I am 100% against shitting on stranger's garages. Again, Happy May Day 2008!

Hillary Clinton's All-American Day

Cross-eyed Hillary Clinton about to down a shot of whiskey in Indiana...

After the cameras stopped rolling, Hillary had a few more shots and a couple of Mojitos before climbing into the back of Jim's (the guy on the right) pickup truck. They rode for what felt like hours before finally pulling up to Jim's double wide. The caravan of cars that followed all parked on the brown lawn surrounding the trailer. The party that ensued was remembered by Hillary as, "...a blur of tight white undies, ecstasy, teabagging and gun cleaning. It was the most American day I've ever had and I think I picked up a few votes."

Best Photo Ever

I can't find any information on this photo. Don't know when it's from or who it is, but I'm pretty sure you'll agree that it is awesome!

Money + Low Self Esteem + Plastic Surgery =

I'm not sure what it is, but I feel sorry for it.

I just found out it is Jocelyn Wildenstein.

Charlie Watts

I bet he knows where his balls are.