Under the Sofa With Some Whiskey

Recently, a British man somehow got stuck under his sofa, and could not get up for 2 days, because of his back problems. He survived by sipping from a bottle of whiskey.

Let me see...2 days under a sofa...with a bottle of whiskey...
Four things come to mind:

• Hell, I've done that voluntarily.
• Is a sofa the same thing as a couch?
• Sounds like my first honeymoon.
• Sounds like a nice weekend.

That's it, that's all I got. Thanks for stopping by to read this nonsense.

Here's the entire story:

A BRITISH man survived more than two days trapped under his sofa by sipping from a bottle of whisky, it was reported today.

Joe Galliott fell against the sofa during a power cut at his home in Somerset, southwest England, and could not free himself because of back problems, the BBC reported.

He remained stuck for 60 hours in that position - during which time a bottle of whisky rolled close enough for him to open it - until a neighbour became concerned that Mr Galliott's curtains had not been drawn for two days.

"The whole settee tipped over catching me like a rat in a trap," the 65-year-old told the BBC.

"I took a sip of (the whisky) and thought, well this isn't too bad."

Mr Galliott, who spent five days in hospital recovering, admitted to becoming concerned after going so long without food or water: "It felt like a lifetime, you think you're there forever."

He told the broadcaster that he now kept a bottle of whisky next to the sofa "just in case".

Odd Peeing Aid

I recently Stumbled across a site advertising a unique item for women. It is an item that allows women to pee standing up. Don't ask why I ran across it, I just did, but the point is; women can buy what basically amounts to a funnel so they can pee anywhere without sitting down. It's called the P-Mate.

On the P-StandingUp.com website, they ask three questions:

• Have you ever found yourself in a dirty, unhygienic, port-a-potty?
• Have you ever had a full bladder with no bathroom in sight?
• Have you ever been afraid to pull down your pants to squat and pee and risk being seen?

So instead of just biting the bullet and sitting on a toilet seat, or putting some TP on the seat, then sitting, or even squatting in the woods with some leaves, women are suppose to, in the words of the company that produces the P-Mate...

1. Simply pop open the P-Mate and move your underwear aside. Place the cupped opening against your body, under the flow area between your legs.
2. Tilt hips so funnel faces slightly downwards.
3. Relax and pee.
4. Dispose of properly.

I am not a woman, never have been a woman, and plan on never being a woman, but I tend to find this product to be very ridiculous. If you are a woman and have used this item, or think you might find this item handy, please let me know. I am, in no way, trying to make light of the plight of women and public toilets, but the common sense side of me tells me that most women would agree with me about the ridiculousness of a tool like this.

It seems that some women have enjoyed the P-Mate. Here's one of the testimonials from P-StandingUp.com:

"I am a woman that hunts/fishes and have shared my backside with TOO MANY OTHERS. Thanks for restoring my dignity in the woods."

Here is what my friend Doug said about the item:

"Women, you will never have a penis. Get over it!"

If you are interested in the P-Mate, make sure to check out their web site. They have instructions, FAQ's and even a video explaining the product. I've got to hand it to them, they have a well thought out, informative web site.

Check out the P-Mate for yourself!

Goats, Guns & Dairy Queen

I love America for all the freedoms I am afforded. I love America for the great highway system. I love America for its national pastime, baseball. But most of all, above any of that, I love America because of goats, guns & Dairy Queen.

Recently, a man in Wisconsin, angry at his wife because she didn't pick up beer from the store, shot the family's goats. He was on the phone with his wife, threatening that he'd shoot them if she didn't go back to the store for beer, and finally shot them when she refused to go back to the store.

According to the story, the 2 goats were beloved family pets.
"We took those goats swimming, we took them to Dairy Queen to get ice cream, they were completely leash-trained," the man's daughter said, "...they didn't deserve this."

If you'd like some tasty goat recipes, check out the follow link: Goat Meat Recpies